The Nature of Liquidity
October 30, 2011 Leave a comment
In praise of liquidity
Q: What do parts of Europe, the USA and pretty much every startup have in common?
A: They all lack liquidity!
While sifting through my EMBA Accounting notes, I came across this wonderful ode to the nature of liquidity, the lifeblood of every business. Very apt for our troubled times, don’t you think?
Liquidity, The Accounting Cat by John Clarke
To the tune of Macavity, The Mystery Cat by T S Eliot
Liquidity’s a mystery; it’s very rarely seen,
It strikes and then is gone again, its getaway is clean,
And despite forensic evidence and great deductive flair,
The conclusion’s inescapable, Liquidity’s not there!
Liquidity, Liquidity, there’s nothing like liquidity,
Its presence gives you confidence, its absence gives timidity,
You own perhaps a property, you own perhaps a share,
But once you’ve lost your credit card, Liquidity’s not there!
Your understated opulence inheres in what you wear,
But in the end, you face the fact, Liquidity’s not there!
Liquidity’s a nifty term, it’s business talk for cash,
It’s money not tied up in things or hoovered in the crash,
Investments may return amounts of staggering obscenity,
The vastness of your holdings may explain your great serenity.
In publishing, to take the case of either of the Fabers,
A warehouse full of Larkin and The Bumper Book of Neighbours
Is very well, and when they sell, will satisfy the editors,
But not much use, in real terms, when dealing with the creditors.
Liquidity, Liquidity, there’s nothing like Liquidity,
The glint of actual duckets brings respect and dip the lid’ity,
It’s likely to self-immolate on contact with the air,
Say ‘Raffle’ in a crowded room; Liquidity’s not there!
In the conduct of a company (proprietary, limited)
There’s always a suspicion that the system’s maladministered,
In proper corporate planning you allow a little spare,
But when you need the wherewithal, Liquidity’s not there!
Liquidity, Liquidity, there’s nothing like Liquidity,
In purely economic terms it constitutes validity,
I wish I had a pound for every credit millionaire,
Who completely failed to register, LIQUIDITY WASN’T THERE!
When reputations tumble and the search is on for clues
(I might mention humpo-bumpo, I might mention drinkie-poos)
There’s a suspect who can prove he was in Lima at the time,
They can’t catch him, he’s the brilliant Scarlet Pimpernel of crime!





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